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Happiness And Dating - Are You Too Kind To People?
Are you too nice? How can any individual be "too nice"? Isn't being "nice" a very good quality to have in a relationship?
Yes, it is true that folks will value niceness in others, but if your way of being nice is to suppress your own needs regularly, you're being too accommodating for your own good.
If you always put the needs of other people first, as well as your own needs last, if you don't speak out when your own needs are ignored, then you are being too nice for your own good.
Any time you express your niceness as a sign of real respect, kindness and interest in another person, it's a superb quality to have.
When the "niceness" is a by-product of low self-esteem, passivity, or desperate loneliness, it can be a liability, and may make other men and women feel uneasy, guilty, or even attract the sort of people that are willing to exploit you.
Have you ever met an individual who never expresses their real preferences, opinions, or desires, even in the smallest matters? When someone asks them, "Where would you like to go tonight?" they reply, "I don't care, anything is okay with me, where do you want to eat?"
A person who won't state their opinion or preference might think they're being nice, but this is not niceness, this is a form of fearfulness, and a lack of self-respect.
Some people develop the trait of never ever asking for what they want mainly because they were raised in a family where expressing wants or opinions was discouraged, or even disallowed.
They might have been literally taught that they should not speak up, that they shouldn't want anything for themselves, and that everyone else's opinion mattered more than theirs did.
A child who grew up inside a household where they weren't allowed to express their needs or opinions, may grow up believing that this really is how the entire world wants them to behave, even after they have become adults.
They may find it challenging to take the initiative in any scenario involving other individuals. They may really feel uncomfortable or fearful expressing their needs. They may even feel they are being "bad" if they ask for anything.
If you find your wishes are always being ignored, take a close look at why this can be happening and see how you'll be able to change it.
If you don't know exactly where to begin, start by reading the game book neil strauss. You can also check out the game review webpage to get tips from men and women within the same position that you're in by searching: the game.
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